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Observations and Violent Whales
My closet has four sliding mirrors for doors. My bed faces the closet, so when I’m sitting up I can look over my laptop and see my blurry face squinting back at me. Tonight, I’ve stuffed myself in...
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Fun with Rashes
Hey Squiggledots, I think I’m allergic to my pants. I started getting a pretty rash on my legs and I assumed it was from my pants being skin tight and wearing them in the dead heat of summer because...
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Quite Tired
Hello DingDongs! It’s been almost a month since I last posted so let’s cut to the chase. I went and bought a RUSH t-shirt and my life has really been on the upswing. Thank you and goodnight. I also...
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It’s a Miracle I Can See
I’ve been wearing contacts and glasses since middle school. Sometimes I wish that I would wake up and be able to see 20/20 instead of blurry/blurry. One time I even read about a woman who used The...
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DO I HAVE VERITGO?
Hellooooo, Helloooo… Hola! I’m at a place called Vertigggoooo*. (*I did not know that was the line and have been singing it wrong since 2004. Frankly, I also have no idea what the song is about.) The...
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#LoveQuest2016
Hi BeanBags, I’ve been single for almost 5 years now and for the past year I’ve been dipping my furry little toes into the dating pool. I’ve been wondering around long enough now to enlist someone to...
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Hi, It’s Me, Your Nana-Mom
Hi PingPongs, Here is some unsolicited advice I cultivated just for you from my own experience. If you are a AAA member, you can go to one of their (participating) locations and renew your driver’s...
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I’m On The Science Diet
Did I capitalize the title correctly? I’ve given up following the rules. Sunday Night Notes: After the past few weeks of feeling like I was going to throw up, pass out, or die at any given moment, my...
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Online Portfolio and Enya Jokes
I finally put together an online portfolio! Now all my articles from McSweeney’s, Reductress, xoJane (and more?) are in one place for you to look at or ignore, I don’t care. This might be my first...
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Downtown Lights
I finally renewed my website. Look at me go. In between running up my data by playing Disney Emoji Blitz and getting my sixth wisdom tooth removed, I’ve been listening to Spotify’s Discover Weekly. It...
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